Jayne Pranks
by RomanceMe
Summary: River uses Jayne for the way he angers. Rayne. Written for Copper For A Kiss mini-challenge. Prompt #33, Anger


**Jayne Pranks  
**

Chapter 1

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_Author's Note: This was summited for a Copper For A Kiss Challenge that had a 50 word prompt table. This is prompt #33, Anger._

_Summary: River uses Jayne for they way he angers._

_Disclaimer: Not mine pouts_

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Roiling, tumbling, cascading, and overflowing—that's what anger felt like. River basked in the emotion. It was so rich, so raw. It filled her up; it made her feel alive. River felt guilty about indulging in other's feelings, but she could hardly help herself. The buzz of it was irresistible. Plus, nobody quite emitted it like Jayne.

Serenity's mercenary seemed to always have something to be angry about. On a job, the anger was seething—restless, but restrained. His anger then could be quickly triggered, and it was laced with protectiveness. When Jayne was hungry, it was straightforward. Provoke him while he was eating, you'll be sure to face his anger. One of River's favorites was when he was angry because of a direct insult, or because of fear, or because of anything else that stirred him on a personal level. There was something about experiencing his anger then—she nearly felt _intimate_ with him. Not the kind of intimacy that lovers share, but the kind that made River feel like there was a connection between her and Jayne. But, out of all the angers, the one that River enjoyed the most was when Jayne was angry with _her. _She might have found that disturbing had she not been too caught up in it to care. In fact, she took so much pleasure in his anger with her; she seized every opportunity to incite it.

River had being a menace down to an art.

--

"Aaaauuurgh!" a voice bellowed. Soon following was the crash of Jayne's bunk door being thrown open, revealing a trembling, absolutely livid Jayne. His head snapped left and right, and found Simon approaching. The doctor was munching on a breakfast bar while reading a lab report as he passed through the hall containing the bunks. He was completely caught unawares when Jayne came to him and slammed him into the wall.

"You wanna tell me where that little sister of yours is?" Jayne sneered. His fists were caught up in the doc's fancy shirt, and he was nearly nose to nose with him.

"I-I d-don't know!" Simon sputtered. His eyes were wide in fear, and his chin pressed down, forming multiple creases at his throat. He couldn't stop staring at Jayne's face. Pathetic.

Jayne gave a cruel bark of laughter before continuing, "'Cause when I'm gonna find her, with your help or no, I'm gonna take this knife see?" Jayne reached for his knife with one hand, and held it up for Simon to view, "And slice all that pretty skin of 'ers right off!"

Fortunately for Simon, a giggle was heard that instantly released Jayne's grip. With one last snarl at Simon, Jayne strode off into the direction of the giggle.

--

River couldn't help herself. It was all too amusing. Her latest prank on Jayne had left him boiling mad. It wasn't like it was difficult to accomplish—the smallest things could set the man off. She giggled. The feeling of drowning in Jayne's rage was so intoxicating, and seeing the look on Simon's face made facing Jayne's wrath worth it. "Uh-oh." River's eyes popped to attention when she heard the pounding of Jayne's boots nearing.

--

Jayne's thoughts thundered around him as he sought after the crazed girl. He was getting right fed up with these jokes of hers. Something made her think it would be fun to mess around with him. He didn't understand it. There would hardly be a morning of the week where he didn't wake up to find something wrong in his bunk.

When he had woken up this morning, he was instantly alert for signs of damage. It was eerie-silent in his tussled room. Suspicious, Jayne had made a quick inventory of his items. Previously, articles of clothing had been missing, only to be found at breakfast, gracing the girl's form—as if she owned the gorram outfit! Other times, his laundry would come out smelling all girlsome. When she was really mischievous, she would rearrange his gun collection beside his bed. How she did all of this while he slept was beyond him. He figured if she could kill 'im with her brain, she could do all sorts of other things as well.

He gave the room a final glare-down and cautiously walked into his bathroom. A quick sniff at the teeth rinse to make sure it was _actually_ teeth rinse, and a check under the lid of the toilet, Jayne was finally beginning to relax. Everything seemed to be where it should. With a sigh, Jayne turned on the faucet at the sink and splashed his face with a bout of cold water. As he reached his hands under the running water for more, he realized that there was something black smudged on his fingertips. Frowning, he held them under his gaze and rubbed his thumb over his other fingers. It seemed to be sticky and oily at the same time. Frown deepening, he slowly removed his shaving mirror from its drawer, never keeping his eyes off his fingers. Afraid of what he might find, he lifted it up the small mirror to his face.

"Aaaauuurgh!"

This time, she thought it would be _ruttin hi-larious_ to smear Serenity's black engine-grease on his face. The grease connected the two thick brows above his eyes into one unifying black line. The back-ass-wards girl had given him a gorram _unibrow!_ What was worse, the more he rubbed at it, the greasier and blacker it became! He was ready to drop-kick her right into the black. Which raised Jayne's attention back to his current predicament. With a feral grin, he blasted down the hallway in search of the moon brain.

--

River was still laughing as she rose from her spot and fled the scene. Oh, she did love it when he got mad enough to chase her. The adrenalin from running combined with the waves of anger rolling off of Jayne gave her such an exhilarating high.

_Pit-pat, pit-pat, _her feet went.

_Stomp-thump, stomp-thump, _echoed Jayne's.

--

"Gotcha!" Jayne shouted as he leaped and landed on River's much smaller frame. To his chagrin, she only erupted in giggles even harder than the ones she had while running.

"You think you're so funny now, eh?" Jayne demanded. They were on the bridge, and he had turned her so that she was on her back. His hands were clamped down on her wrists and held away from her body. He straddled her, and her laughs eased away to heavy breaths and a wide smile as his body weight pinned her hips down.

"I'm not funny," River protested. "But, you, you are very humorous, Jayne!" With that, she broke out in another, if gasping, snigger at Jayne's expense. He was really starting to hate that sound. "The amalgamation of your eyebrows have found a whole new look for you! Really, it's quite becoming." She fluttered her lashes to further mock him.

Gorrammit, even restrained under him, she managed to make him look the fool. He hadn't had an idea of what amala-what-it word was all about, but now, he had a notion that it was somethin' to do with his presently joined eyebrows.

"You crazy, humped-excuse for a girl! This ain't fair! You can't just go around changin' good folks' appearances 'cause yous think it's some kind of spectacle," Jayne growled through his teeth. He was so furious, and River was absolutely delighted. She should have thought of hitting his vanity earlier. But, amongst the boiling, enveloping, overwhelming rush of anger that flowed into her, River felt something very different as well. It was small; clutched at the base of her stomach. And as Jayne inched closer with every word he pronounced, the feeling unsettlingly grew. Suddenly, it seemed that she couldn't catch her breath, not because of the significant weight upon her, but because of the nagging feeling nearly consuming the anger. Her face fell, her eyelids drooped, and she exhaled slowly, parting her mouth, in attempt to expel the new sensations. It was only getting worse; it spread down between her legs.

Jayne gave her a weird face before abruptly snatching himself up. For a moment, he just stood over her limp body, glaring down at her. Then he stormed off, gone.

--

Jayne returned to his bunk, knowing that he had gotten the better of her this round, but didn't feel any satisfaction in it. She didn't respond like she rightly should've. She was supposed to have mocked him some further, and he respond with some prepared witty comebacks. And he did prepare those comebacks, and was sorry he didn't get to use 'em too! Then, he would've threaten her with some bone-chilling prospects of removing an assortment of body parts and organs, while she did something silly like stick her tongue. That's how it had all gone 'fore. This time, though, she had turned slack-jawed, and lusty-eyed as if he had told her that they was gonna go at it like a buncha bunny rabbits, instead'a berating her for her latest prank. And _damned_ if that didn't strike his attention. Straddlin' her like that—he had been all kinds of turned on. So, he lit out there, _quick,_ 'fore he actually did suggest to fornicate like animals.


End file.
